


Stargazing

by Crucified_To_A_Star



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Fluff, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Realistic, Stargazing, just some good old love, super soft content honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 12:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14449455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crucified_To_A_Star/pseuds/Crucified_To_A_Star
Summary: Stargazing usually involves stars. For Phil, though, he seems to find constellations hidden everywhere.





	Stargazing

**Author's Note:**

> This is such a soft fic, I loved writing it so much. It's out of my usual writing realm, but sometimes just pure softness is nice.

Stargazing usually involves stars. It usually involves a long endless blanket of navy and black with glistening bright stars dotting the darkness and tracing patterns of constellations into the sky. It usually involved quiet conversations and soft giggles and hands running the sky as if they could read the stars like braille. Usually, stargazing was done in the dead of night where the sky was clear and the world silent and even though the air was cold everything felt warm. Everything about stargazing had to do with staring at things too far out of reach to be tangible and everything was drenched in a moonlit mystery that was both terrifying, relaxing, and romantic.  
For Phil, though, he seemed to find constellations hidden everywhere amongst the world he could touch. The stars weren’t touchable, but yet he found himself constantly being able to brush his fingers against them. Now was the perfect example.  
He and Daniel were laying in bed, the sun having risen hours ago and yet with their curtains drawn it might as well have been the early morning. It was far past noon and neither was willing to exit the warmth that the grey checkered comforter provided so neither did; both ignoring all responsibilities they had piling up, phones on do not disturb, and the only sounds were coming from the city bustling outside their apartment window. Daniel was mumbling horsley about a dream he had that night about moving and a theme park and Phil was listening wholeheartedly, the smile on his face unbearably large, but not fake.  
He couldn’t physically contain the grin that split his face, his eyes wrinkled, blurring his vision even more. He didn’t have his glasses on and he hadn’t forgotten to remove his contacts before bed, so the world was a blur of light and grey and art; a watercolor painting that was like a new take on realism. Daniel was close enough to him, though, that he could make out the freckles on his cheeks, the smaller ones dotting under his eyes, the indigo twinge lying underneath the speckles bringing out the intense brown of his eyes. His hair was a complete wreck, a mangled mess of curls and frizz from a restless night. He was glowing, though, in a way that Phil couldn’t explain. Daniel looked beautiful this morning, as he did every other morning. Phil was consistently overwhelmed with emotions when he started thinking about Daniel too long or admiring the way he looked in certain lighting or the way any angle was a good angle of Daniel, even the ones where he looked ridiculous. They were all Phil’s favorite, for one reason or another.  
Phil leaned in quickly and kissed Daniel. It was hasty, short and sweet and nothing more than a peck really, but it satisfied his incredibly urgent need to have a form of contact with him.  
“Was I boring you?” Daniel asked after Phil retreated, the grin remaining on his face. Daniel looked more confused than before, but he didn’t look upset.  
“No, I just really wanted to kiss you.” Phil’s voice had remnants of sleep left in it, but it as cheery and lively and warm as usual and Daniel smiled softly at it, almost unconsciously.  
“Well, could you let me finish speaking next time?” It was a soft jest, not meant as a complaint or an insult, though his flat tone could lead one to believe the opposite.  
“Sometimes, you have to learn not to wait, Danny boy.” Phil gave a bright chuckle at the end, watching Daniel’s face screw up in a mock disgust  
“You need to learn patience.”  
“Says you!” Phil said back, poking him in the chest.  
Daniel laughed and said something witty back, but Phil couldn’t think to respond. Instead, he spent the time stroking his chest softly, trailing his fingers over the muscles that had formed from their small exercise plan, over his ever present collarbones, and down the dips of his shoulders. Daniel had stopped talking at some point, his breathing deepening as Phil traced the edges of a star. Maybe he would spend the rest of the afternoon filling in the star, outlining the shape in his mind and completing it through touch. Sometimes Phil was able to touch the stars he saw.

 

Sometimes galaxies hid themselves in plain sight, strewn across the earth realm in obvious spots that some people were too engulfed in their own lives to notice. Phil noticed them, though. Currently, he was staring at one. Like stars littering a night sky, there was cereal spread across the kitchen floor. The small bits of rice krispies has scattered across the entirety of the kitchen, sliding under the fridge and stove, around the island, and a neat pile had formed under the box that had landed open side down from the ajar cupboard.  
“Daniel,” Phil said loudly, his voice carrying across the apartment. It was mid-morning and Daniel had rushed from bed to catch the start of an American show that he knew nothing about. They typically watched things together, but this one was something Phil had no interest in. Daniel had shamefully become addicted to it online and it seeped into taking over their TV on Tuesday mornings at six. Today was the season finale and Daniel was catching the reruns of it that started at seven rather than having been up all night. Phil had stayed in bed, having roused around nine and having come out to find this mess in the kitchen.  
“Hold on!” Daniel shouted back, his voice distant and distracted, the sound of the TV just loud enough for Phil to make out the sound of words but not specifics.  
“Daniel, now, please.” Phil’s voice was a little terser than usual, but the annoyance scraping his tongue wasn’t truly anger. More frustration in knowing that if he stared at the mess too long he would clean it.  
“Just a second!” Daniel was sounding a tad irritated now.  
Phil’s eyes narrowed slightly behind his glasses, “Daniel!” His tone was louder and sharper, sounding the same as a slap.  
“Hold on-” Daniel paused for a second and then Phil heard the adverts come on, “I’m coming.”  
He heard the heavy footsteps and the slapping sound of Daniel’s feet against the hardwood as he rounded the corner into their kitchen. “The hell are you yelling about- oh.” Daniel stopped mid-sentence as he noticed the mess on the floor, his cheeks brightening and eyes darting from both the mess and the other man.  
“Care to explain?” Phil crossed his arms, feeling older than he truly was. Daniel had that effect on him occasionally. There was such a youth within Daniel that Phil couldn’t explain; it wasn’t the same as he, who just enjoyed the feeling of being youthful. Daniel truly was immature occasionally, something that his therapist said had to do with his depression, a side effect so to speak. It caused him to be irrational occasionally, emotionally unstable, and impulsive, all leading to an occasionally immature personality. Phil didn’t mind it, though, and quite adored the moments where Daniel blushed and avoided eye contact.  
“I didn’t notice that it fell, I was rushing.” Daniel’s voice was quiet, mumbled words, and the lie was easy to hear.  
“Dan, I know you knew.” Phil’s tone was flat.  
Daniel looked up and their eyes met and Phil knew the irritation was melting quicker than he imagined possible. When Daniel spoke his pitch was higher, his embarrassment flooding out through his voice, “I was planning on coming back, I just wanted to watch the next episode first and then on a break I could clean it up. I thought you would be in bed for a while longer.”  
Phil raised an eyebrow and gave him a long look before sighing and nodding, “Just clean it up, Dan. I don’t like stepping on a crunchy kitchen floor first thing in the morning. I don’t enjoy krispy toes.”  
Daniel’s eyes squinted and his nose scrunched slightly, “I’ll clean it up if you promise to never say ‘krispy toes’ again.”  
Phil shrugged, “Get it cleaned up, Howell.” He headed for the living room, patting Daniel’s butt on the way, carefully avoiding the stray pieces of popped rice. Occasionally, he didn’t want to see galaxies. 

Phil didn’t know many of the constellations that decorated the sky, painted in the cosmos for everyone to see. He knew some of the Zodiacs and had seen the Big Dipper and Little Dipper before and once had seen Orion’s Belt, but he didn’t know many outside of those and if he was honest, he wasn’t able to point them out if he was staring at the sky. He loved looking at the stars, but he was never able to find the shapes hidden amongst the layers of bright lights millions of light years away.  
Phil could, however, name his favorite constellation. It was hidden inside of Daniel’s eyes and only appeared once in a blue moon. Occasionally, they would be out and about doing something, getting lunch or grabbing snacks or heading out on a date. They tried to go out to eat at least twice a week; they tried to leave and do something as often as they could so they weren’t confined to their apartment indefinitely. They left every morning for the gym, but it hardly counted as a fun and relaxing outing. Sometimes while they were out someone would get too close to Phil- whether that be a waitress giving him a flirty side eye or a man sitting too close to him on the tube and Phil would notice Daniel’s immediate shift.  
It happened often enough that it was amusing to see the change in him when it happened. He would often go from bright and smiling and cheery, to worrying his bottom lip into a reddened mess, eyebrows furrowed and cocked, a flat expression occasionally directed at the other person or his own shoes.  
Daniel was a jealous mess and Phil loved it to no end.  
Today, they had just been eating at a restaurant, enjoying their bubble. It had been a nice meal in a casual burger joint on a sunny mid-November day, the air nippy outside nearing the 3’o’clock mark. Daniel was all smiles and bright eyed, his curly hair managed and soft. He wore one of his leather jackets and black jeans and moth shirt, a different combination for him, but Phil admired the way he looked in the outfit. Everything about him looked undeniably attractive today and Phil was in love with every inch of him.  
Phil had chosen a simple outfit of black jeans, his short red plaid button down shirt and his jean jacket that was lined in wool-like cloth. He loved the coat and found it to be the most comfortable piece of clothing, but Tumblr always said he looked like a lesbian mom when he wore it. He wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or not, but it made him chuckle every time he thought about it. Daniel had offhandedly mentioned that the red brought out his eyes nicely and Phil hadn’t let the smirk leave his face all day. He also knew that Daniel loved the way he looked in jean jackets; they broadened him a little bit, squared his shoulders, and matched his complexion nicely. Daniel had been eyeing him throughout their outing and Phil had noticed, intending on taking advantage of his attractive appearance later.  
Unfortunately for Daniel, though, he wasn’t the only one who took a liking to Phil’s appearance. The waitress that had been serving the two had been hovering often, checking on them more often than necessary and lingering too close for comfort.  
Daniel was typically seen as the more “attractive” out of the pair, but often looked far too unapproachable to flirt with. With all the black he wore and the flat expression that was a constant, added to the fact that he towered over almost everyone he met by many inches, Daniel rarely was ever flirted with offline. Phil, however, always had the glowing aura surrounding him, a polite smile always gracing his lips, and his eyes were trustworthy and enchanting. Naturally, more people felt more confident flirting with him versus Daniel.  
This always led to a fun conversation once they arrived home, though. Currently, the dirty blonde haired waitress with a strong American accent named Mariah was hovering at Phil’s elbow. Phil was always too polite to shoo people away, even as they made him uncomfortable. Everyone made the joke that it was just because he was British, but Daniel held fast to the point that it was because he was just genuinely nice. It was the same reason he was constantly talked over and ignored.  
Phil was trying hard to make it obvious that he wanted her to let them leave, but she continued the conversation, though at this point she was practically talking to herself.  
It took Daniel interrupting in order for the conversation to die. “We’ve really got to get going as we have half a date left to finish. So if you wouldn’t mind…” Daniel rolled his hand expressively, catching her attention easily.  
Things started to click in her mind in that moment, her face burning bright scarlet. She stuttered over her words, apologized quickly and disappeared.  
Phil looked to Daniel, the sparkle in his eye the ever familiar twinkle of a constellation that Phil loved dearly. “Are you ready to go?” Phil asked, his voice light.  
“Yeah, I’m also ready to never leave the apartment again.” Daniel was irritated, the flush in his cheeks not embarrassment and Phil felt his stomach tightening at the sight.  
“Let’s go home.” Phil said with a smile. His favorite constellation had made an appearance during the day and that meant that the night was going to be much brighter than it would’ve been otherwise. 

 

One of the most memorable times that Phil could hold a star in his arms, though, was at the most intimate and private moments that the pair shared. Sometimes it was in the middle of the day, the sun bright and giddy, sometimes it was in the middle of the night, the moon grinning down as it watched them. Phil would hold Daniel tightly, tracing the bruises that he had left all over his body, etching them in his mind like maps of constellations. There were moments where Daniel lit up like a solar flare and burned out as quickly as one, loud and bright and beautiful to watch.  
Sex wasn’t the only intimate thing that they did, having been together for nearly a decade most things were considered intimate, but it certainly was one of Phil’s favorites and tonight was no different. The dark bruises against pale flesh, the red flush that burned Daniel’s skin, the trails of where nails scraped flesh all looked like a cosmos had been painted onto his body; the entirety of Daniel being the star. The glossiness of sweat and saliva and lube decorating such a burning body, leaving it glimmering in the moonlight shedding in from their open balcony blinds. They were situated nicely to where the neighbors couldn’t see in, but the apartment was lit by nothing except the full moon.  
Phil was certain that he looked transparent in the lighting and he probably looked closer to a ghost than a human, but Daniel looked ethereal. He looked like a classic painting; his lips were bright red and sore, eyes tightly shut, with glossy tears decorating underneath thick lashes. His face and neck were cherry stained and his body was limp against the hardwood floor. Phil was certain that it wasn’t the most comfortable and that it had to be causing some kind of friction burn on his back, but it didn’t seem to bother Daniel. At this point, Phil knew it wouldn’t, considering the man loved pain, but it still made him worry.  
Daniel’s eyes opened suddenly, before he tucked his head back and he was lost in the cosmic bliss that he could only ever get from Phil. It wasn’t long before Phil was with him, lighting up the room like a meteor crashing into the atmosphere, burning up on impact.  
When they collapsed against the cold floor, it was together and uncomfortable. They were both sweaty and Daniel’s skin was sure to be sore and there were so many hickeys and dark bruises forming along his body that Phil was nearly certain he wouldn’t put any clothing on the next day. He often worried if he ever hurt the younger man, ever took it too far, but Daniel would always curl up next to him, practically purring.  
After a long stretch of silence, Phil’s body finally came back to Earth and he was reminded that he was over thirty and laying on a hardwood floor for too long was not good on his body, his knees already bruised. “Dan?” He said softly.  
“Yeah?”  
“Can we go to bed? My back is hurting,” He added a soft laugh to it, but the underlying tone of his insecurity was there.  
“Yeah,” Daniel said after a moment, “I think my ass could use something softer.”  
Phil laughed, feeling the mood lightening at Daniel’s vulgarity. They showered quickly, heading to bed after. The night was quiet once again, the sound of cars passing outside enough to provide a white noise that was relaxing to listen to.  
Daniel was curled up in Phil’s arms, a position they only ever took after sex. Phil ran his hands along Daniel’s sides, his back, his thighs. He traced every inch of his body. He was constantly reminded of the fact that the wonders of the universe weren’t always held in the sky. Sometimes, they were trapped inside of a human, burning out brightly and spectacularly. He felt lucky enough to be blessed with the position to watch a star so closely, he felt lucky to be able to see one even on cloudy days. Phil was just constantly stargazing, even when there wasn’t a single one in the sky.


End file.
